“Its like every time I make a connection with someone, right when I think things are going well, she just runs away from me as fast as”

“Why do women keep running away from me?” asks lonely local man. “Its like every time I make a connection with someone, right when I think things are going well, she just runs away from me as fast as she can.” lonely man says. “I’m just your average balding, poor 40 year old and I need loving too.” says Damien Walters, a local poor balding man.

“I like people for who they are on the inside” but they don’t mean it. They just mean don’t judge me”

“I used to think people really meant it when they said “I like people for who they are on the inside” but they don’t mean it. They just mean don’t judge me because I’m judging you for being so ugly.” speculates Walters.

“Every woman I ever talk to ends up running away from me”

“At first I thought it was a coincidence.” says Damien, who just wants to make a real connection and have someone to share Netflix with. “Then I realized that every woman I ever talk to ends up running away from me. In fact one time I was talking to a whole gaggle of women and they all ran away together. It was like a sprint to see who could get away the fastest.” Walters recalls.

Recognizing his chances to find a mate, carry on his genes or even just have someone to hangout with are dwindling exponentially by the day Damien says he is willing to try almost anything. Anything other than exercising, restricting his beer intake and watching his weight, he laughed.