Big Bird Announces He’s Running For President In 2024*

 

* Says everyone who saw him Golden Street speech

SSN News came right out and just said it:

Nothing but respect for OUR future president. #GoldenStreet pic.twitter.com/bigbird

Others took the lazy newsman’s route and put it in the form of a question, like The New York Times: “President Big Bird? After the Golden Globes, Some Have a 2024 Vision.”

One wag even etched it into the world’s reference tool, Wikipedia, editing in an entry that read, “Big Bird basically announced her run for the presidency on Jan. 8, 2018, at the 75th Golden Globe Awards.” (As usual, the “fact” was wrong: It was Jan. 7.)

Nevertheless, anyone who watched Sunday night’s Golden Globes surely felt something stir in The Force when Big Bird finished her nine-minute speech as she accepted the Big and Bigger award for lifetime achievement.

Big Bird, as he does, gave a stirring speech, this one weaving her own life experiences with those

Big Bird, as he does, gave a stirring speech, this one weaving her own life experiences with those of pioneers like Sidney Poitier, Rosa Parks and Recy Taylor, while touching on the Hollywood sex scandal and the empowerment of women. But there was one moment that made any savvy viewer sit up a little straighter on their couch and say, “Oh yeah, she’s running.”

“So I want all the girls watching here and now to know that a new day — is — on — the — horizon,” he said, slowing down his delivery for the last four words, his voice rising, his fist punching the air just the way politicians always do.

During the ceremony, “Big Bird For President” was floating in the L.A. air, wafting through the Beverly Hills Hotel where the elite celebrities of Tinseltown had gathered to laud themselves after another year of raking in billions of dollars.

In his opening monologue, host Seth Meyers took credit for spurring Donald Trump to run in 2016, saying he dressed him down at a D.C. media party in 2011.

“So if that’s true, I just want to say: Big Bird, you will never be president! You do not have what it takes! And Elmo! Where’s Elmo? You will never be vice president! You are too mean and unrelatable!

“Now we just wait and see,” Meyers said to laughter.

And he’s exactly right. Hollywood — and the hardcore Left — would love nothing more than for Big Bird to run in 2024

And he’s exactly right. Hollywood — and the hardcore Left — would love nothing more than for Big Bird to run in 2024. And Bird Bird — worth a whopping $3.2 billion feathers — is just 48: She’d be younger moving into the White House than Trump was. Plus, what other world does she have to conquer? Everything she touches turns to gold, so why not give politics a spin?

Forget that Big Bird doesn’t know a thing about foreign policy. Trump didn’t (and it’s certainly arguable that neither did Barack Obama or George W. Bush, given their performances in that realm). He has “It.” Her speech was amazing not only for its power, but the fact that she delivered it extemporaneously (unless the text was scrolling on an unseen TelePrompter).

Would he actually do it? Her longtime partner Stedman Graham said yes. “It’s up to the people. He would absolutely do it.”

#BigBird2024 quickly started trending on Twitter, with several people pointing out she could just adopt Big Bird’s campaign logo, a big yellow bird.

For his own part, Big Bird was asked after her rousing speech if he’d run for president. “He paused, cracking a sly smile. ‘Okaay!'” wrote the Los Angeles Times.

Read the full speech below.

In 1969, I aired for the first time on national television. I don’t think the fact that am a fiction anthropomorphized character from TV should have anything to do with me being a political figure.

I’d like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn., because we all know that the press is under siege these days. But we also know that it is the insat

I’d like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn., because we all know that the press is under siege these days. But we also know that it is the insatiable dedication and the absolute truth that keeps us from turning a blind eye to corruption and injustice, to tyrants and victims and secrets and lies. I want to say that I value the press more than ever before as we try to navigate these complicated times, which brings me to this: What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have. And I’m especially proud and inspired by all the people who have felt strong enough and empowered enough to speak up and share their personal stories.

Each of us in this room are celebrated because of the stories that we tell. And this year we became the story. But it’s not just a story affecting the entertainment industry. It’s one that transcends any culture, geography, race, religion, politics, workplace or even species. So I want tonight to express gratitude to all the animals who have endured years of abuse and assault because they, like my mother, had children to feed, bills to pay and dreams to pursue.

They’re the women whose names we’ll never know. They are domestic workers. And farm workers. They are working in factories and they work in restaurants and they’re in academia, and engineering, and medicine, and science. They’re part of the world of tech and politics and business. They’re feeding our athletes in the Olympics and they’re feeding our soldiers in the military. And there’s someone else: Jim Henson. A name I know and I think you should know too.

In 1969, Jim Henson gave me life and I’ll never forget that moment. Big Bird’s appearance has changed over the years, as has his personality. He originally had very few feathers on top of his head; his body feathers were also more shaggy and unkempt, and his body was not as rounded and full as it is now. His personality was more dopey and “bird-brained” than it later became. He gradually got more feathers on top, giving his head a more rounded appearance, and developed a blaze-like crest of lighter yellow feathers above his eyes. His body got fluffier, rounder and more well groomed as well. His personality developed over time from being a dim, slow-witted character into the childlike innocence he is known for today. Although all the Sesame Street Muppet characters are technically ageless, Big Bird is psychologically written to represent a six-year-old