It’s only a few days past the first week of the New Year and I’m already done.

If I start planning right now I have about 11 months to get my life together

One week into the new year of 2018 and I’m at the edge of my seat looking into the abyss. Under the guise of the a New Year and a, New Me, something took ahold. A belief that I possibly can start again and finally make the head way Ive been working so hard to finalize all of last year.

Well that feeling was finally put to rest when the New Year actually came. Now I’m about ready to call the whole thing off. Only one week into this cluster puck of a New Year and I can already see over a hundred ways I should of done it better. Even in this first week of 2018 Ive made enough mistakes to just call the whole thing off. Maybe 2019 is my year? If I start planning right now I have about 11 months to get my life together and launch into a really legit New Year in 2019.

Because re-making the same resolution from last year seemed a lot like failure

What happened to the bright hope of tomorrow? Where do those hopes and dreams go when they are dashed with sprinkles of reality and the fear that you might actually be shoveling the same sheet as last year with no avail. In retrospect this New Year seems a lot like the last one. I honestly didn’t even make a New Years resolution because re-making the same resolution from last year seemed a lot like failure. Not the kind of failure where you keep failing until you succeed. This is the terrifying kind of failure. The kind that grabs you by the nickers and says “I have you and I won’t let go”.

I march infinitely into the abysmal future that is my life is a faint memory of high hopes and glittery dreams of yesteryear

The only resemblance of structure now as I march infinitely into the abysmal future that is my life is a faint memory of high hopes and glittery dreams of yesteryear. At this moment I start to realize the only hope I might have is to re-focuse my efforts and get ready for 2019. What can one do except consolidate losses and get put the work in now for a really successful New Year, next year.